Celebrity Jeopardy Disney Style
by jsprosa
Summary: Lola and Mitchie Torres from Camp Rock participate in the celebrity edition of Alex Trebek's popular game show, with a certain Scottish actor as another contestant.


Note:

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the characters depicted in this story. They are owned by their respective companies. (Please read and review this work afterwards)**

**Celebrity Jeopardy Disney Style**

_Location: Sony Pictures Studios, Hollywood, CA_

_Characters involved: Alex Trebek, Lola Luftnagle, Mitchie Torres, Sean Connery, Mikayla_

(Jeopardy theme music starts)

Alex Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. The first round would have been very exciting, if only the contestants hadn't been so slow in answering the questions. Also, because of what happened before our commercial break, I'd like to apologize to all Democrats and Progressives. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Teen pop star Hannah Montana was supposed to be on tonight's show, but due to a scheduling conflict she had to pull out. Substituting for Ms. Montana is her friend Lola Luftnagle, who, in a first for the celebrity editions, is in the lead with 21,000. Pretty impressive.

Lola Luftnagle: Boo-yahh!! Alex, it's such an honor to participate in your show- it allows me to put my talents on display! You like the bling I'm wearing?

Trebek: Great. I don't know what's with your purple hair. In second place, with negative 5,000, is Mitchie Torres.

Mitchie Torres (singing): This is real, this is me, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be...gonna let the light shine on me...

Trebek: Ms. Torres, you're not in Camp Rock anymore. And finally, in last place with negative 39,000, unfortunately we have, once again, Sean Connery.

(audience cheers and whoops)

Sean Connery: Well, Trebek, it's me again, ready for another round of this great game. I'm going to have great fun. Perhaps I can take these two fine young lassies home with me after we finish taping.

Trebek: Good lord, Mr. Connery, are you insane? Those two 'lassies' are only 16 years old.

Connery: 16, you say? That's how many times I was with your mother last month! (Connery laughs)

Trebek: All right, let's just take a look at the categories for Double Jeopardy. They are: Potent Potables (ding), The United States Congress (ding), Colors That End in 'reen' (ding), Connect the Dot (ding), Songs Called 'Night Fever' (ding), Wizards of Waverly Place (ding), and finally, Number One Hits by Mikayla (ding). I should add that the answer to every question in that category is the same, since Mikayla has only had a single number-one hit song.

Mitchie: Ooh ooh! Mikayla happens to be a good friend of mine, Alex!

Trebek: Sure she is. Mr. Connery, you're in last place, so you get to select a category.

Connery: The day is mine! I'll take 'Famous European Actresses' for 600, Trebek.

Trebek: (exasperated) That is not a category, Mr. Connery. Lola Luftnagle, why don't you just select the question so that we can move on?

Lola: Eeep!! Really, Alex, are you calling on me?

Trebek: Yes, I'm calling on you, Ms. Luftnagle! It's your board!

Lola: Oh, okay, okay. Let's see. I'm going to take The United States Congress for 400.

Trebek: Wise choice, seeing that you're the only contestant with brains. The answer is: This is the total number of members of the House of Representatives.

(Mitchie rings in)

Mitchie: Um, what is three? (buzzer sounds)

Trebek: No, that is incorrect.

Mitchie: Well, I guessed three because there are three Jonas brothers, not counting Frankie, known as the "Bonus Jonas." Three is my lucky number. By the way, hi Joe!

Trebek (bewildered): Wow. Anybody else want to answer the question?

(Connery rings in)

Connery: Seven!

Trebek: No! I thought you were smarter than that, Mr. Connery!

Connery: I said seven because that's how many times your mother can go in a day! (Connery laughs wildly)

Trebek: That's completely out of line! Who's going to ring in with the correct response?

(Lola rings in)

Lola: Alex, the question is: What is 435?

Trebek: Finally, a correct response! Ms. Luftnagle, I must say, that in all my years of hosting these stupid Celebrity Jeopardy shows, you are the best contestant I've ever seen.

Lola: Well, thank you, Alex, I try my best.

Trebek: It's still your board. How about selecting another question?

Lola: Definitely. I'm going to go with Number One Hits by Mikayla for 800.

(Daily Double sound plays)

Trebek: And this is an Audio Daily Double. Please listen carefully to the song we are about to play.

(Audio clip of Mikayla singing on Colin Lassiter's show begins to play)

Mikayla: "If cupid had a heart, he would shoot and throw an arrow through your soul, better aim and go...If cupid had a heart, you'd be mine I know, I need you to see..."

Trebek: (now bored). Nobody wants to ring in? No one knows that the answer is "If Cupid Had a Heart?"

(Mitchie rings in)

Trebek: Thank God, Mitchie Torres.

Mitchie: Is it "Gotta Find You?"

Trebek (frustrated): No! It's "If Cupid Had a Heart!"

Mitchie: Well, I have no idea. I made a duet with Joe when we filmed Camp Rock.

Trebek: Let's just end it here and go on to Final Jeopardy. The category is Civil War Battles. Wait, that's for our regular edition of Jeopardy, which we're taping tomorrow. The real Final Jeopardy category is this: Write the first thing that comes to your head. (Final Jeopardy "think music" begins to play) It could be something on your daily schedule, it could be about buying your parents a holiday gift, or it could be wanting to throw a pie in my face. Just write a credible response. (The two bass drum beats signal time is up) And let's see what kind of responses you all wrote down. Lola Luftnagle, you wrote: Hannah Montana rocks my world. Well, Ms. Luftnagle, Hannah Montana is your best friend, right?

Lola: Hannah has always been by my side, through thick and thin, in good times and in bad times. Like, there was this one time this kid Lucas cheated on me, and she showed me how much of a two-faced idiot he was. Hannah, if you're watching this, I love you!

Trebek: Inspiring. And you wagered...all your earnings. That means your score now doubles to over 42,000, which you get to donate to the charity of your choice.

Lola: Eeep!! And...boo-yahh!!

Trebek: If only you could start acting your age. Mitchie Torres, you look rather pleased. Let's see what you wrote down: I love the Jonas Brothers. Technically, that is a correct answer; you did write something. Let's see what you wagered...Joe Jonas. That's not even in a dollar amount.

Mitchie: Alex, Joe and I rocked the stage in Camp Rock. I kicked the daylights out of that little snot Tess Tyler in the end, which means I am the new queen of the camp! Joe was there for it all and we are the greatest pop duo ever!

Trebek: Frankly, I don't care about your music. Finally, we come to Sean Connery. He wrote: (screen shows a picture of a horse with Trebek, and audience laughs wildly) What's so funny you guys? All right, let me take a look at the screen- yeah, yeah, that's a horse getting it on with me. Great.

Connery (laughing): Come on, you Canadian ponch, let the people see my artwork!

Trebek (upset): No, because it's inappropriate for national television, okay? Once again, charities have been deprived by these celebrities' stupidity, with the exception of Lola Luftnagle's, because she showed an interest in playing this game. I'm Alex Trebek, and I'm going home to drink a bottle of champagne and watch As the Bell Rings on my TV. Good riddance!

(Cue to Jeopardy theme music)


End file.
